Meretia ([personal profile] meretia) wrote in [community profile] writerstorm 2009-08-21 06:02 am (UTC)

That's the thing, I'm not sure how important it actually is. I originally wrote it because I wanted to show her having a moment where she was being confident and competent instead of flaking out because some guy struck her as weird. Then it kind of went in another direction. Also I thought the book was moving a little too quickly (the first chapter was the one where WW's boy gets snatched by the bad guys, then the second chapter was the one where WG came into the shop, and the third she was already downtown meeting with WW).

After thinking about what [personal profile] pippin said, I'm toying with the idea of combining the chapters where WG shows up and where he comes back to fetch her. Now her first chapter (which is actually the second in the book) is the one where WG comes into the store, but he's asking just a few questions and then saying "okay, get in the car, my boss wants to talk to you."

I still don't know if that would speed things up enough, though. It would still be about the fifth chapter before I got her to the office--my current skeleton outline is something like:
1. The gentleman friend, Adrian, gets grabbed
2. WG comes to bring Fox downtown. Nothing doing, leaves his card.
3. In the middle of an ordinary reading, Fox has a vision of trouble a-brewing.
4. Check in on Adrian--is he still alive? Yep, but he's not happy.
5. The Villain's Hounds, this really nasty piece of work involved in disappearing Adrian, comes to Fox's house and warns her to keep out of all this. Fox calls the number on the card and says OMGWTF there's this thing in my house, I'm coming down tomorrow and you tell me what all's going on.
6. Fox goes downtown and WW explains to her what's what.

I'm thinking of cutting scenes three and four, but then I worry a little that it would be moving too fast.

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