I think, just reading your summary, that part of your problem might be that you have too many characters. You have T, M, J, E, I, and S, and then the nameless soldier who betrayed them, and that is just so many characters to be managing when most of them are protagonists. You might want to consider editing your cast and maybe merging some characters.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-29 05:37 pm (UTC)