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writerstorm Aug. 17th, 2009 02:10 pm)
meretia posting in writerstorm Aug. 17th, 2009 02:10 pm)So there I am, about four chapters into the novel I'm working on now, sailing along, thinking about maybe trying to move my next chapter earlier in the book, when suddenly I realize that I have a big problem with the next chapter coming up in my half-hearted stab at an outline.
My FMC is a psychic who co-owns a New Age bookstore and does readings there, Tarot and the I Ching and things. In her first chapter, a weird guy (WG) turns up in the store. She isn't even sure that he's actually a person instead of a ghost or spirit or something like that, he just feels wrong. WG is fairly pleasant except for being really, really weird and asking lots of odd questions. Specifically he wants to know if she's seen a certain man lately and if she did any readings for him. FMC kind of blows him off so that he'll go away, he creeps her out so badly.
In the last chapter I finished, FMC has been kind of uneasy for a few days. WG and the man he was asking about have been on her mind and she doesn't know why. In the middle of a reading, she has a vision of the sudden, intense sort she hardly ever gets--the man WG was asking about is in a lot of trouble and suddenly the ominous cards she read for him make a lot of sense. Also she gets kind of a sense during the vision that WG might have something to do with it, and even if he doesn't it's probably a good thing she didn't tell him what he wanted to know.
The weird guy is from the alternate world where the embodiments of character archetypes and tropes live. So far as anyone knows this early in the story, he works for the Woman Warrior but isn't anything specific himself. The current Woman Warrior (the tropes sort of change over time, it's complicated) is more of a ruthless corporate executive than an actual battlefield fighter, and she has an office in the city nearest to the little town where FMC lives. The next chapter I had planned was the one where he turns up again at FMC's shop a few days or a week later and takes her downtown so the Woman Warrior can basically explain the plot (the man FMC read the cards for is Woman Warrior's gentleman friend. He's gone missing and the last place anyone saw him was around FMC's shop. So she'd better tell them where he is or go find him, or else).
So if she's had, all of these big flashing warning signs up until now, then why in the hell would she just be like "sure, let's go!" when WG turns up again insisting she get in his car or whatever and come with him? I'd been thinking that she doesn't want to look like a flake in front of her business partner when WG shows up, and/or she just wants to get to the bottom of what's going on here, and/or she thinks that this might be only way to help the man she saw in the vision since the police aren't going to take that kind of story real seriously. But would those be strong enough reasons for her to just up and get in a car with a man who spooked her out so badly the other day?
Edit: Okay, new question.
I've had a few people suggest various places that perhaps FMC is willing to with WG because he rescued her from something, maybe something he staged, which started me thinking.
There's a character in the story who's a particularly nasty piece of work, the Villain's Hounds (like the Nazgûl, Gmork, Croup and Vandemar--the beastie that the villain sends out on "find and destroy" missions). In an earlier draft of my outline I'd been planning to send it to visit FMC after she'd gone to Warrior Woman's office. She didn't buy any part of what Woman Warrior had to say; FMC's attitude was more or less "lady, you're crazy, let me go home now." Then the Hounds showed up to warn her off and that was what made her change her mind about staying out of it. If there are things like that taking an interest in her, she wants this business done. I'd decided not to do that because I thought it pushed the start of the story back too far (and, now I think of it, it still doesn't address the question of why she'd go to the office with Weird Guy anyway). Then I'd been considering a scene after the guy in trouble escapes and FMC meets up with him where the Hounds come to ask her if she's seen this person they need to talk to (but I was sort of lukewarm on that idea since it's basically identical to one from early in "Neverwhere").
I'll show my hand a little and admit that Weird Guy and the Hounds are working together on something I could totally see WG saying to it, "look, she won't listen to me, you go put the fear of, um, you into her." And then either WG happens along right at the most opportune moment to save her from the Hounds, or after it's gone FMC calls the number on his card he gave her and says okay, if this kind of crazy crap is going to keep happening, maybe we can talk. Woman Warrior isn't in on their plans so I'm not sure quite why they'd want to drive FMC to her.
My question here: is this too much happening before we get to the explanation of the premise? First WG shows up, then she has this vision, then the Hounds maybe come by, and then FMC finally says to Woman Warrior, "okay, tell me what this is all about." I was sort of thinking about cutting the chapter where she has the vision. Good move, or does it sound like it would work okay as is?
My FMC is a psychic who co-owns a New Age bookstore and does readings there, Tarot and the I Ching and things. In her first chapter, a weird guy (WG) turns up in the store. She isn't even sure that he's actually a person instead of a ghost or spirit or something like that, he just feels wrong. WG is fairly pleasant except for being really, really weird and asking lots of odd questions. Specifically he wants to know if she's seen a certain man lately and if she did any readings for him. FMC kind of blows him off so that he'll go away, he creeps her out so badly.
In the last chapter I finished, FMC has been kind of uneasy for a few days. WG and the man he was asking about have been on her mind and she doesn't know why. In the middle of a reading, she has a vision of the sudden, intense sort she hardly ever gets--the man WG was asking about is in a lot of trouble and suddenly the ominous cards she read for him make a lot of sense. Also she gets kind of a sense during the vision that WG might have something to do with it, and even if he doesn't it's probably a good thing she didn't tell him what he wanted to know.
The weird guy is from the alternate world where the embodiments of character archetypes and tropes live. So far as anyone knows this early in the story, he works for the Woman Warrior but isn't anything specific himself. The current Woman Warrior (the tropes sort of change over time, it's complicated) is more of a ruthless corporate executive than an actual battlefield fighter, and she has an office in the city nearest to the little town where FMC lives. The next chapter I had planned was the one where he turns up again at FMC's shop a few days or a week later and takes her downtown so the Woman Warrior can basically explain the plot (the man FMC read the cards for is Woman Warrior's gentleman friend. He's gone missing and the last place anyone saw him was around FMC's shop. So she'd better tell them where he is or go find him, or else).
So if she's had, all of these big flashing warning signs up until now, then why in the hell would she just be like "sure, let's go!" when WG turns up again insisting she get in his car or whatever and come with him? I'd been thinking that she doesn't want to look like a flake in front of her business partner when WG shows up, and/or she just wants to get to the bottom of what's going on here, and/or she thinks that this might be only way to help the man she saw in the vision since the police aren't going to take that kind of story real seriously. But would those be strong enough reasons for her to just up and get in a car with a man who spooked her out so badly the other day?
Edit: Okay, new question.
I've had a few people suggest various places that perhaps FMC is willing to with WG because he rescued her from something, maybe something he staged, which started me thinking.
There's a character in the story who's a particularly nasty piece of work, the Villain's Hounds (like the Nazgûl, Gmork, Croup and Vandemar--the beastie that the villain sends out on "find and destroy" missions). In an earlier draft of my outline I'd been planning to send it to visit FMC after she'd gone to Warrior Woman's office. She didn't buy any part of what Woman Warrior had to say; FMC's attitude was more or less "lady, you're crazy, let me go home now." Then the Hounds showed up to warn her off and that was what made her change her mind about staying out of it. If there are things like that taking an interest in her, she wants this business done. I'd decided not to do that because I thought it pushed the start of the story back too far (and, now I think of it, it still doesn't address the question of why she'd go to the office with Weird Guy anyway). Then I'd been considering a scene after the guy in trouble escapes and FMC meets up with him where the Hounds come to ask her if she's seen this person they need to talk to (but I was sort of lukewarm on that idea since it's basically identical to one from early in "Neverwhere").
I'll show my hand a little and admit that Weird Guy and the Hounds are working together on something I could totally see WG saying to it, "look, she won't listen to me, you go put the fear of, um, you into her." And then either WG happens along right at the most opportune moment to save her from the Hounds, or after it's gone FMC calls the number on his card he gave her and says okay, if this kind of crazy crap is going to keep happening, maybe we can talk. Woman Warrior isn't in on their plans so I'm not sure quite why they'd want to drive FMC to her.
My question here: is this too much happening before we get to the explanation of the premise? First WG shows up, then she has this vision, then the Hounds maybe come by, and then FMC finally says to Woman Warrior, "okay, tell me what this is all about." I was sort of thinking about cutting the chapter where she has the vision. Good move, or does it sound like it would work okay as is?
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There is a particularly nasty piece of work, the Villain's Hounds (like the Nazgûl and Gmork from "The Neverending Story"), I'd been planning to send after FMC. In an earlier draft FMC had gone to Warrior Woman's office and didn't buy any part of what she had to say, her attitude was more or less "lady, you're crazy, let me go home now." Then the Hounds showed up to warn her off and that was what made her change her mind about staying out of it. If there are things like that taking an interest in her, she wants this business done. I'd decided not to do that because I thought it pushed the start of the story back too far, but if I could find a reason to get them in there earlier it might work well.
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If WG saw the hounds were after her, that would probably be enough reason to rescue her and take her to WW without having grilled her about the missing guy? He could ask her questions during the ride there, to confirm suspicions, if you still wanted that sort of scene.
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I'm thinking now that in the first scene, WG isn't just there bumping around and asking her stuff, he's there to pick her up--"Hey, you read cards for a certain guy? My boss wants to talk to you. Get in the car, we're going into town." To which she says, of course, "oh hell no, weirdo." He leaves his card and splits.
Then the Hounds shows up a chapter or two later, and they tell her that yeah, she'd just better stay out of this if she knows what's good for her. And that with the vision she had, if I keep it, is what motivates her to call WG up and ask for a meeting so he or his boss or whoever can explain to her what's going on.
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Honestly, the second chapter isn't necessarily too late to explain the premise, I don't think. You just have to make sure that what's going on in the first chapter will keep the reader reading until the second (I'm picturing WG at the end of the first chapter doing something a la Kyle Reese's "Come with me if you want to live" line in Terminator). You have a lot of exciting stuff here. Now that I think about it, the only part that I personally think may slow the chapter down a bit would be WG's questioning and harassing FMC. I mean, just because he hasn't really done anything yet and rescues her wouldn't necessarily stop her from getting weird vibes from him, right?
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After thinking about what
I still don't know if that would speed things up enough, though. It would still be about the fifth chapter before I got her to the office--my current skeleton outline is something like:
1. The gentleman friend, Adrian, gets grabbed
2. WG comes to bring Fox downtown. Nothing doing, leaves his card.
3. In the middle of an ordinary reading, Fox has a vision of trouble a-brewing.
4. Check in on Adrian--is he still alive? Yep, but he's not happy.
5. The Villain's Hounds, this really nasty piece of work involved in disappearing Adrian, comes to Fox's house and warns her to keep out of all this. Fox calls the number on the card and says OMGWTF there's this thing in my house, I'm coming down tomorrow and you tell me what all's going on.
6. Fox goes downtown and WW explains to her what's what.
I'm thinking of cutting scenes three and four, but then I worry a little that it would be moving too fast.