A valid reason for a woman to leave her child?

[jaaaarne]

Guys, I really need your help. This is a pretty much relationship advice for a romance novel, though, so I'm sorry if the question seems stupid or inappropriate.

Now. The story is set in the modern era Western-type society, about 7-10 years in the future. There is a couple that once had a sudden, bright and passionate romance, that, sadly, turned out to be pretty short-lived. Therefore, they divorce, having gone from being madly in love to hostility. The question is, they have a 2 y.o. baby which I need to stay with its father after the divorce.

I don't want to demonize the mother and I really don't want to kill her off (she's not a bad person, besides, it would be awesome if I could still have this character later in the story), but I need to somehow make it work. Being a woman myself I honestly cannot come up with any explanations. This has to be a non-scandalous arrangement, no forcing the kid away from her mother or something. They have to agree on the terms. I need some valid reason for the mother to agree that the baby will be better off with the father, although she and her ex-husband are now pretty hostile to each other. The mother is about 27-29 when she divorces her husband. Also, she's a kind of a performer (not a celebrity!) traveling a lot, so maybe the arrangement can somehow be tied to that?

All and any input on this will be appreciated. :)

Comments

[margaretdriscoll]

I have two friends, both good people, who amicably agreed to their ex-husbands having custody after the divorce. In one case it was because the mother was relocating and wanted the child to stay in the better school district and in familiar surroundings. In the other case it was because the mother honestly admitted that although she loved her children her husband was just more suited to be the primary parent (which wasn't a surprise to anyone...he'd always been the one to do late night feedings, call in to work when one of them was sick, do "kid duty" at get-togethers, show off the latest pictures, etc.)

Good luck working it out!

[jaaaarne]

Thank you for replying. :)

I gather now that the situation is not actually all that rare? So, if I'm writing my woman leaving her baby with the father because she wanted stability for the child, nobody will actually expect the neighbours and random passers-by to point fingers at her and say that she's a bad mom?

It's just that I know only one single father in RL, and the situation there was not pretty at all.

[margaretdriscoll]

In my part of the world it's still relatively rare for the mother to voluntarily give up custody, and I do think many people (unfairly) judge women for making that choice. I can understand your concern and some readers may demonize your mother character no matter what, but writing against that outdated stereotype has got to be a good thing...right? I'm sure you'll feel your way towards the best way to handle writing those parts of your book. Good luck =D

[jaaaarne]

Thank you! :)